To 'Ship DV
by Cleo the Muse
Summary: First and foremost, this is NOT a capitulation. I still prefer the DV UST to the 'ship. That said, I got this wacky idea of what it was like for Docgwen being pestered unto the brink of insanity or 'ship by the ladies of the DV Forum...


**To 'Ship D/V **by Cleo the Muse  
Rating: All Ages  
Genre: Humor, Poetry  
Warnings: Terrible rhymes and enough sap to fill the Great Lakes with maple syrup...  
Episodes: None, though you may recognize some of the scenes.  
Synopsis: First and foremost, this is NOT a capitulation. I still prefer the D/V UST to the 'ship. That said, I got this wacky idea of what it was like for Docgwen being pestered unto the brink of insanity or 'ship by the ladies of the D/V Forum...  
Notes: 'Ship's lines are in _italics_, Docgwen's are plain-text. This will probably get a picture slideshow to accompany it one day... (I don't have the time for that right now, though.) SO, with great apologies to Dr. Seuss (the second time I've butchered his writing style), here we go...  
Status: Completed as of October 10, 2006  
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate... it owns me EVIL GRIN.

* * *

**To 'Ship D/V**

_I am 'Ship  
__I am 'Ship  
__'Ship I be_

That 'Ship-I-Be!  
That 'Ship-I-Be!  
I do not like that 'Ship-I-Be!

_Do you like  
__to 'ship D/V?_

I do not like to,  
'Ship-I-Be,  
I do not like  
to 'ship D/V.

_Would you 'ship them  
__here or there?_

I would not 'ship them  
here or there  
I would not 'ship them  
anywhere.  
I do not like  
to 'ship D/V.  
I do not 'ship them,  
'Ship-I-Be.

_Would you 'ship them  
__out in space?  
__Would you 'ship them  
__face-to-face?_

I would not 'ship them  
out in space.  
I would not 'ship them  
face-to-face.  
I would not 'ship them  
here or there.  
I would not 'ship them  
anywhere.  
I do not like  
to 'ship D/V.  
I do not 'ship them,  
'Ship-I-Be.

_Would you 'ship them  
__through the 'Gate?  
__Would you 'ship them  
__with love/hate?_

Not through the 'Gate.  
Not with love/hate.  
Not out in space.  
Not face-to-face.  
I would not 'ship them  
here or there.  
I would not 'ship them  
anywhere.  
I do not like  
to 'ship D/V.  
I do not 'ship them,  
'Ship-I-Be.

_Would you? Could you?  
__In a bar?  
__'Ship them! 'Ship them!  
__Here they are._

I would not,  
could not,  
in a bar.

_You may like them.  
__You will see.  
__Put them at the SGC!_

I would not, could not at the SGC  
Not in a bar! You let me be.  
I do not 'ship them through the 'Gate.  
I do not 'ship them with love/hate.  
I do not 'ship them out in space.  
I do not 'ship them face-to-face.  
I do not 'ship them here or there.  
I do not 'ship them anywhere.  
I do not like to 'ship D/V.  
I do not 'ship them, 'Ship-I-Be.

_A town! A town!  
__A town! A town!  
__Could you, would you,  
__in a town?_

Not in a town! Not at the SGC!  
Not at a bar! 'Ship! Let me be!  
I would not, could not, through the 'Gate.  
I could not, would not, with love/hate.  
I will not 'ship them out in space.  
I will not 'ship them face-to-face.  
I will not 'ship them here or there.  
I will not 'ship them anywhere.  
I do not like to 'ship D/V.  
I do not 'ship them, 'Ship-I-Be!

_Say!  
__In the dark?  
__Here in the dark!  
__Would you, could you, in the dark?_

I would not, could not,  
in the dark.

_Would you, could you,  
__upside-down?_

I would not, could not, upside-down.  
Not in the dark. Not in a town.  
Not in a bar. Not the SGC.  
I do not 'ship them, 'Ship, you see.  
Not through the 'Gate. Not with love/hate.  
Not out in space. Not face-to-face.  
I will not 'ship them here or there.  
I will not 'ship them anywhere!

_You do not like  
__to 'ship D/V?_

I do not  
'ship them,  
'Ship-I-Be.

_Could you, would you,  
__with a pyre?_

I would not,  
could not,  
with a pyre!

_Would you, could you,  
__with gunfire?_

I could not, would not, with gunfire.  
I will not, will not, with a pyre.  
I will not 'ship them upside-down.  
I will not 'ship them in a town.  
Not in the dark! Not the SGC!  
Not in a bar! You let me be!  
I do not 'ship them through the 'Gate.  
I do not 'ship them with love/hate.  
I will not 'ship them out in space.  
I do not 'ship them face-to-face.  
I do not 'ship them here or there.  
I do not 'ship them ANYWHERE!

I do not like to 'ship D/V!  
I do not 'ship them, 'Ship-I-Be!

_You do not 'ship them.  
__So you say.  
__'Ship them! 'Ship them!  
__And you may.  
__'Ship them and you may, I say._

'Ship!  
If you will let me be,  
I will 'ship them.  
You will see.

Say!  
I think I like to 'ship D/V!  
I do! I like to, 'Ship-I-Be!  
And I would 'ship them gunfire.  
And I would 'ship them with a pyre...  
And I will 'ship them upside-down.  
And in the dark. And in a town.  
And in a bar. And the SGC.  
They are so cute, so cute, you see!

So I will 'ship them through the 'Gate.  
And I will 'ship them with love/hate.  
And I will 'ship them out in space.  
And I will 'ship them face-to-face.  
And I will 'ship them here and there.  
Say! I will 'ship them ANYWHERE!

I do so like  
to 'ship D/V!  
Thank you!  
Thank you,  
'Ship-I-Be!

* * *

Author's Notes:  
Yeesh, I should have been SLEEPING instead of writing this... 


End file.
